Success? My Son Thinks So. Me? Not So Sure…
I’m not going to be blogging every single day. Let’s be honest, who has the time (or energy) for that? But right now, this space, this little blog, is my therapy. Because lately, I’ve felt very alone.
There’s been a tsunami of change in my world lately. Work is shifting in ways I didn’t anticipate (or ask for), I’ve been supporting my son through yet another school move, and on top of that, I’m helping my brother navigate some serious school-related drama with his kids. It’s like a never-ending rollercoaster… but without the fun photos or safety harness.
And while I’ve always been resilient… always tried hard, done my best, it’s been a long time since I felt seen. I don’t do what I do for recognition, but let’s be real, sometimes, it would be nice if someone noticed. Noticed the effort. Noticed me!
This isn’t a “woe is me” moment. Truly, it’s not! I’m just trying to process all the changes swirling around me lately. Trying to keep moving forward. Trying to make something of myself in the chaos.
Yesterday, something beautiful happened. My son went to an art workshop, one of those amazing street-art style events where you use words in your piece. He created something for me. When I saw it, I nearly cried.
Among the words he chose to describe me were:
Kind. Friend. Loving. Successful…
Successful. That word hit me the hardest.
Because honestly? I don’t feel successful right now. I feel like I’m barely keeping the wheels on. But there it was—his word, not mine. And it reminded me that sometimes, the people who matter most see things we can’t.
And really, being a positive role model for my son? That’s the kind of success I care about.
Doing the right thing… that’s what drives me. Integrity, honesty, loyalty - those are my north stars. Belonging is another one, though I’ve always had a bit of a complicated relationship with that particular feeling.
So, I’ll keep doing my best. For my son. For my family. For my work. Whether it’s recognised or not… well, we’ll see. But I’ll know I stayed true to myself, and sometimes, that has to be enough.
Swanny xx
You know, many times people see us with a different eye lense. I find that most of the time people see me with some kind of "nice" filter and that I do not recognise or connect, even the slightest, to what they say.
But one thing is true - if the ones close to you say something like "kind" "friendly" "successful" then you are. To them you are all of those things and more. And they are the ones that really matter.
But knowing that and feeling that are two different things.
It's a path. It's a journey. Give some steps on it. Take those words with you for a while.
Work is a hard cold environment that we tend to use to measure our "success" in many things in life. And we shouldn't.
And even if life is a rollercoaster (mine long time ago stopped being a merry-go-round... Thats for sure), and things happen, you still have your north stars to guide you fiercely to safety. To your safe home and space.
Enjoy your day!